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Saturday, January 20, 2007

Go China!

So China has successfully tested an anti-satellite missile system, and everybody in the West is panicking.

Okay, not everybody. The US and Britain are panicking.

But me, I'm proud of China.

Good on you, China! Congratulations China!

From the get-go in 2001, before everything was drowned out by the 9/11 echo-chamber, you couldn't turn around without hearing a neo-con go all misty about a "space-based missile defense system".

Of course, we know that "space-based missile defense system" really just means "orbiting weapons that can simultaneously hit hundreds of fast-moving targets with pinpoint accuracy anywhere on earth".

Again, there has been a lot of talk about missile defense this week from the US and its satellites.

President Bush announced in a speech that he is deploying the newest Patriot missile-defense systems to US allies in the Middle East. "US allies" means Israel, by the way. And the missiles the Patriots would be defending against would be Katushya rockets, launched in retaliation for the impending assault on Iran.

Raytheon makes Patriot missiles. Raytheon - and its owners, and employees - is very, very happy. Raytheon is in Arizona.

Here, read this article about how happy Raytheon is: "Raytheon Expects Surge In Patriot Defense Sales".

The Patriots, being landed in Kuwait, are of the new Configuration 3 system. According to the Boston Globe, Raytheon says that many of its existing customers — including Germany, Greece, Israel, Japan, Kuwait, the Netherlands, Saudi Arabia, Spain, and Taiwan — are considering an upgrade to the Configuration 3 system.

If Raytheon's lucky streak continues, the Patriots will get to strut their stuff this spring and then...the bucks start rolling in.

If I were Raytheon, I would really be doing my best to get as many Katushya rockets in the hands of as many Syrians as possible. But that's me.

Oh, and another bit of missile defense news this week: someone thinks its a great idea to put missile defense lasers on passenger planes.

That's a great idea.

Isn't that great idea?

Because, you know, what if someone shoots a missile at a passenger plane?

Then you could shoot the missile down and stuff. And save everyone.

There have been several articles written this week about the airline-based Guardian missile-defense system. Almost every these articles throws in the fact that in 2002 someone fired two small surface-to-air missile at an Israeli airliner on takeoff in Kenya. The missile went wide. No one was injured. But that's some scary stuff.

The repeated dangling of this one incident in front of us seems to be suggesting suggest that if that airliner had some LASERS on the front of it, then...


...then, I don't know...something would have happened differently. The missile might have not only missed, but missed and been shot down maybe? Or at least it would have looked really cool, accelerating down the runway lasers firing like some cool Colonial Viper from Battlestar Galactica (but with the El Al, logo on the side). The plan, initiated by the US Department of Homeland Security, is to put the Guardian system on all civil aircraft...

...you know, to keep them from being shot down by missiles. Yeah. All of them.

Somebody is going to get so goddamn fucking rich.

It's nice to know that while the rest of us are watching our world disintegrate, for some these are the best years of their lives.

Hey, did you know that an airliner has never been downed by a shoulder-fired missile outside of a combat zone. Nope. Never.

But meanwhile, back in China, those yellow bastards are stirring up trouble. They shot down a defunct Chinese satellite, apparently as a test of surface-to-space missile capability. One presumes this technology could be used not only to take out space-based weapons system threatening their country, but also as a missile defense.

But why, China? Why? Why you being so crazy and mean alluva sudden?

Well, there are several countries that have refused to take the "nuclear option" (I want to know when it became an option) off the table - North Korea, maniacs to China's north; India and Pakistan, maniacs to the west, and the USA, maniacs right next door in Afghanistan.

So sing it with me, everyone:

"Go China, go China, go China, go China, go China..."

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