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Tuesday, November 22, 2005


I just had a birthday, and so I find myself reevaluating my life. I think it's a natural part of the aging process - or as I prefer to call it, the "olding process".

One thing I've noticed lately is the older I've grown, the louder my farts have become.

Have you noticed this as well?

I'm sure there must be a practical scientific explanation for this annual decibel rise, but so far it remains to me a mystery - strange and unfathomable and slightly supernatural. But what with Madame Curie being one of my heroes and all, I have attempted an equation to describe the phenomenon:

L = aF2

In this equation - called Romanek's Gas-Volume Assertion - the Loudness (L) of the fart is equal to the person's/my Age (a) times the square of Huffing's Fart Constant* (F).

I believe the equation describes the mechanics of the increasing loudness exquisitely. But still I wonder why.


*for more on Huffing's Fart Constant, read "Denny Huffing: Father of the Bold" by Shirl Birdwing, also "The Pressure Constant and other Observations" by Denny Huffing.

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- By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sun Jul 23, 06:02:00 AM GMT+1  

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- By Anonymous Anonymous, at Tue Jul 25, 12:42:00 AM GMT+1  

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