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Thursday, December 22, 2005

Beer Cheer

I'm off to a holiday party this afternoon. I will not drink beer there - and yet I will be smelling of beer throughout! How is this possible? Is it a Christmas-tide miracle?

No. It ain't no miracle.

When I took my seat on the bus this morning, I didn't notice the seat was already occupied. Occupied by beer.

I'd almost forgotten what it was like to reek of beer.

Now I remember.

Fortunately, I'm no longer single and so I can hang at the Christmas party without worrying too much about the impression I might be making on the opposite sex. Although some women - or so I have read in magazines - find the smell of stale beer quite erotic. I might have turned this to my advantage in the olden days, moving in on an attractive coworker for a slow dance, then leaning close to whisper seductively: "My ass smells like beer."

Anyway, if you run into someone today who smells like beer, say "Hello". It's almost certainly me.

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