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Monday, November 26, 2007

From President To Enemy Combatant

So there I was thinking about the future, when I began to worry - very much worry - about the safety of U.S. President George W. Bush - and V.P. Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld and Karl Rove and Condie and, oh, everyone.

As we all know, the office of President has acquired the power to declare any American citizen an Enemy Combatant and so order their immediate arrest and indefinite detainment. So I'm very worried that the next President - the one to be elected in 2008 - could turn out to be the conniving, ruthless, chick-with-something-to-prove, Hilary Clinton. And that she will ... well ... I can hardly say it ... she will immediately declare, as her first act in office, Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rove, Condi, et al. - because of their so-called "crimes" - Enemy Combatants.

I wouldn't have worried so much about this a few years ago, but now the law now clearly and unambiguously allows a President draw up his (or her) own list of Enemy Combatants, and to subject them to indefinite solitary confinement. No charge is required, just Mrs. Clinton's conviction that it is so is legally sufficient.

Hey, while she's at it, how about ...

... Kenneth Star. Gennifer Flowers too. Why not Monica Lewinsky, that tramp? And has Bill outlived his usefulness? Her first E.C. declaration might be painful, but it should get easier over time.

Of course, all those Combatants would get a right to a military tribunal. Sweet deal when you're the Commander In Chief.

Hilary Clinton is a merciless opportunist who makes Lady Macbeth look like Desdemona. All intelligent people accept this as true. So how will President G.W. Bush get himself out of this pickle?

I know what I'd do, if I was him.

I'd stay President for as long as I possibly could.

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