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Monday, October 31, 2005

Tricks

They smashed our pumpkin! The spiteful monsters smashed our pumpkin!

We hadn't even carved it yet.

My wife and I woke to prepare our annual Ye H'allowe'en' Even-Tide's Yard Sale, and as we stepped onto the porch we saw...we saw...

...Oh, the horror of it! The seeds! The rind! Those stringy bits! Oh, shattered nature! Oh, deed never to be undone! Oh, wretched violation of home and hearth! Oh, squash-ed squash! Oh! Oh!

Yeah, someone smashed our pumpkin over the weekend. And, yes, I was too lazy to carve a jack-o-lantern. I wonder, if I had carved one, would the pumpkin still be with us? You know, like how if you're a superior graffiti artist, taggers will pass over you out of professional respec'. Perhaps the Pumpkin Smashers might have paused, recognizing my jack-o-lantern skills, and said: "His carving is masterful. Truly he has been guided by Apollo himself. Let us move on lest we risk the great god's wrath." Something along those lines.

But here is picture of last year's jack-o-lantern:


HAP-PY HAL'LOW-W'E'E'N!

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8 Comments:

1) You need to delete the comment spam and enable word verification.

2) Perhaps 'twas the reformed Smashing Pumpkins that smashed your pumpkin.

3) Good trick to thwart the tricksters. Take your innocent looking pumkin and open it up from the under side. Hollow it out and then fill it with cement or plaster of Paris or some such solidifying rock-like substance. Place pumpkin out in front of house and watch as unsuspecting punks kick it as hard as they can. Ankle sprains for everyone!

- By Blogger Rob, at Mon Oct 31, 07:12:00 PM GMT  

1) I want to enable word verification to help prevent comment spam. I do. I really do. I just feel that it is morally wrong.

2) Mi esposa Janeta, yes, she is a fan of Smashing Pumpkins. And, in fact, she was the first person to "discover" the smashed pumpkin. Perhaps I shall confront her and ask her exactly how much she likes smashing pumpkins.

3) If only I had taken the time to carve a jack-o-lantern this year I could have done the cement trick. That's what I get. One instance of laziness leads to whole holiday season robbed of mirth and laughter.

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