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Thursday, March 16, 2006

Psalm To A Giant Caterpillar

Psalm To A Giant Caterpillar

O, Giant Cat, you crush things really well,
so mighty and so strong are you.
You crush things, crush things, crush things.
I like the way you crush things.
Many things are crushable, but not all things are crushable.
But you, you can crush all things.
Even the uncrushable can you crush.

You shall crush all the nations,
You shall crush all the houses.
You shall crush all the not-nations too.
O, how I have a crush on you!
But my crush is as nothing
To your great and unmeasurable crushing.
My heart leaps that you have such a crush as this!
I feel honored!
I blush. Yes. Like a bride.
Like a bride I blush.
For to you - on account of your crushiness -
The mightiest edifice (neat word edifice!)
Is as a huppah in the desert.
And yeah, babe, I want to feel your weight on me -
But not actually.

Your great treads are like the heavy treads of mighty tanks
But no fiery guns need you, no!
Your armor is as the prow of mighty battleships
But no air support need you, no!
You are your own man!
But unlike mere man, you can be serviced cheaply,
And have easily replaceable parts,
Many of which can be shipped overnight from the factory.
You are often yellow,
But you are not afraid.
You are yellow like GOLD.
You are yellow like the MORNING SUN.
You are yellow like HONEY.
You are yellow like other mighty yellow things.
Sometimes though, you are not yellow.
Sometimes you are gray, or khaki.
Sometimes you are olive drab or desert camouflage colored -
Often desert camouflage colored, in fact.
You change color and function according to the time.
You change operator according to the work schedule.
You are purchased by government moneys
And you are purchased by private corporate moneys.
Public and private moneys alike do they purchase you.

You are like a frightening Star Wars machine, but not as collectible.
You are like a Transformer, but with a clearer job description.
You are like a Really Big Animal, if Really Big Animals were made of steel and powered by diesel and had treads instead of legs, and no actual blood or organs.
Great Cat, I shall march behind you always.
I shall walk in step with your ways.
I shall not step in front of you
Because that would be damn foolish.
You shall flatten my enemies.
You shall make of their cities an level place.
You shall make them to scatter to the farthest corners of the earth,
Or at least make them to scatter in random directions, screaming.
Giant Cat, how can I express my love for thee?
Giant Cat, how can I better honor thee?
Shall I put in an order for next year's up-graded model?
Shall I put in the order even before the sun doth set?
The funding is approved. I only need call.
This is one of the benefits of leasing.
Giant Cat, may your crush on me continue,
And my crush on thee.
But please do not actually crush me.
Crush others, but do not crush me,
For on that day, I would lament my birth.


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Infidels! They have not come to worship at the verse of the supplicant! The Cat, must we then builden a sanctuary. With columns and collonades and porticoes- but no steps as they would get all torn up at the advent of the Great Cat. There all manner of wayword bloggers will recite the verse of said supplicant and await the crushing noise.

- By Blogger sean alan, at Tue Mar 21, 10:32:00 PM GMT  

Amen! It is even thus!

- By Blogger Neal Romanek, at Thu Mar 23, 09:58:00 PM GMT  

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