Hello. I am...

Soon I and our wife will be moving to a FOREIGN COUNTRY. A country filled with FOREIGN PEOPLES. Oh, the peoples there speak English, yes, but don't let that fool you. They are strange and FOREIGN.

Naturally, I have been practicing my foreign greetings so the FOREIGNERS will not feel afraid when we land amongst them.

If you intend to be around FOREIGNERS in the future, you might want to practice some of these phraseologies yourself:

"Hello, there. I am ...

• ... happy to meet you."
• ... a North American."
• ... not from around here."
• ... a displaced person."
• ... sorry."
• ... not dangerous."
• ... looking for a job."
• ... here to stay."
• ... desperate."
• ... a jolly good fellow."
• ... well aware of your resentment toward my people."
• ... eager to learn your ways."
• ... having a bowel movement in my trousers. Send for help."