My New Rock Band

I will tell you a secret. And I beg you ... reveal this secret to no one else, for I tell it only to you, and in the strictest confidence.

My secret is ... My secret ...

My secret is ...

(deep breath)

... When I was a teenager, I wanted to be a ROCK STAR!

There. I've said it.

These days, now that I am older and mature, and pretend to understand and enjoy jazz, there is very little I can think of that sounds more revolting than being a Rock Star. Okay, maybe the thousands of adoring fans would be okay. Or MILLIONS of adoring fans? Wealth and fame, that might be okay too. And maybe if I were really brilliant at it, if I changed the face of popular music forever? Yeah, that might be alright. Sure. To go down in the Anals Of The History Of Rock!! The Beatles, Elvis, The Sex Pistols, Neal Romanek.

Hmmm ... Maybe I could be a Rock Star. I mean, how hard can it be?

I'm thinking the most important step in becoming a Rock Star is selecting your name, or the name of your band (of whom you will be absolute master and guiding genius). The name tells you everything - who your audience is, what kind of music you will be playing, and what kind of wardrobe you will wear on stage. I think any one of the following 10 names would work well for my new rock band:

1. Enveloping Karma of Minty Flavour (British spelling essential)
2. Hot Pants
3. Incomparable Dejah Thoris
4. Kwisatz Haderach and the Girl
5. Mighty Apartment Makeover
   
6. Neal Romanek & the Squeamish
7. High Sanctum of the Bedarkened Pharisees
8. The St-St-tut-tut-tutters Yeah!
9. The Thrashing Coots
10. Yang Yuppies, Man

Your speedy feedback would be appreciated. I need to get this thing going. I am feeling the call of ROCK!