Quadra Farewell

Usually, when gifts are bestowed upon me, or when I am fortunate enough to own some material item of worth, I immediately lose it or break it.

But there's one material object that has stood by me - and I by it - for many years, as reliable and unflagging as an abusive spouse. That would be my Apple Quadra 800 computer, purchased in 1993.

I have written many great works of genius on this computer, and have looked at many unsavory pictures on the internet. The computer hasn't worked well for a few years. And the last time it was able to run the most up-to-date system software was some time in 1998, I think. Before the great 68K/Power PC switchover.

Over the years, the computer inhaled tremendous amounts of second-hand smoke, at all hours of the day and night, and still ran without complaint. It is the Ford LTD station wagon of computers. Indestructible - and the battle vehicle of choice for soldiers from the future who have returned to the present to fight deadly unstoppable androids (see "The Terminator" (1984) and "Terminator 2: Judgment Day" (1991) for examples which so feature station wagons)(though not Apple Quadra computers).

But the Quadra has sat dark and brooding under various desks, for several years - like a very old cat - looking enviously at the computers that actually work.

We had been talking about it for a while. But I decided...today was the day...

I took the Quadra out to the woods down near the crick...tied its leash to a tree...and, fighting back tears, raised my shotgun...while the Quadra looked back with innocent eyes...